I headed upstairs and jumped into theshower to get myself cleaned up. I had blood and mud crusted in myhair, my hand was black and blue, and my ribs felt like several mightbe broken. I was getting dizzy from time to time but did not think muchof it. After my shower I tried to eat but just felt tired and not veryhungry so I decided to get ready for bed.Over the last four years of torment I had found freedom from my stressand anxiety in a very strange way. One day, while I was digging throughour storage area, I had found a large box of lingerie and nightgowns. Inever did figure out why my parents had it. Perhaps they were storingit for a friend, or maybe they were going to donate it. As I rummagedthrough my hand felt the soft caress of a silk nightgown. There wassomething thrilling in that touch and I pulled it out of the box. I putthe gown up to my face and felt the cool smooth touch of silk. Iwondered what it must feel like to wear such a beautiful thing. Knowingmy parents were. I knew what he was going to do was important but so was fucking me. Damn, I said. It was 2.00pm when I got home and I wanted to go straight to bed. I didnt even want to talk to anyone. My mind was so occupied with my sexual hunger that I had forgotten about the house repairs I had organized. A company van was parked outside the house and a strong muscular man was reading a newspaper in the drivers seat. Hello, maam. I was just about to leave. I was scheduled to start at 1.30, he said. I mumbled an apology and headed inside, with the repair man following me. He was there to fix the water system, I guess. I left him to get on with his work and headed to the bathroom for a quick bath, then to bed. I dipped myself into the tub to try and drown my sexual frustration and completely forgot about him. The water was soothing and I was feeling sleepy. Its dangerous to sleep in a bathtub because you can easily drown, so I told myself I will just soak myself a little. I guess I must have fallen.
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